How to stop seeking validation from others
Seeking validation or approval to do anything in all areas of your life is a recipe for disaster.
And here is why:
First, as you may already know the human brain is designed to adapt and learn, but it does so in different ways.
On a basic level, it explains different tastes or different liking and disliking.
On an advanced level, it explains different behaviours, beliefs, values and opinions.
In other words, each one of us experiences reality in different ways.
Just to remind you, different does not mean that something is right or wrong.
Different means just different, not the same.
Here is an example: Let’s suppose you have just achieved your goal and you are excited about it and proud of yourself as you should be; then you share your good news with a friend or a colleague, expecting perhaps that they have the same feelings about your achievement as you do.
However, because they experience reality in different ways, because their brain adapts and learns in different ways, their reaction can be far from excitement, perhaps just a lukewarm reaction, completely different from yours.
At first, you may be a bit disappointed with the fact that their reaction did not match your excitement, but in time if you constantly seek approval and validation, if you constantly expect the other to have perhaps not the same but similar reactions to your achievements, you will have insecurity, lack of confidence and worse of all you will second guess yourself every time you are about to do something.
Second-guessing yourself leads to anxiety.
Second, ask yourself what kind of life you will have when you seek approval and validation from others when choosing your goals.
For instance, making a certain amount of money because some people look happy with that kind of money, or living in a specific area because of successful people living there.
How about your happiness and your success regardless to what people think?
That is the recipe for disaster.
You are unique in your own way.
You do not need approval or validation to set and achieve your goals.
They are your goals and no one else’s.
Let’s take action right now.
Whenever you are about to embark in a new venture, pay attention if the choice is based on what you really want and not based on approval and validation.
When you share your goals and dreams with others, pay attention if you want their opinion or their approval and validation.
You have everything you need to live your own life.
You have the right to live the life you want.
If you think you don’t, then let’s have a chat.
Go on my website and sign up for a Free Consultation.
Please, share this blog with others so they can become aware when they are seeking approval and validation.
