When we play a game of flip the coin, we need to pick a side. We can either have one side or the other but we cannot have both sides at the same time.
The same happens with our internal dialogue.
Our internal conversation either supports us or sabotages us. We have to choose which one we want.
Ideally, we would choose support. But sometimes you choose sabotage.
The good thing about it is that we are in control and we can flip the coin to support us.
Of course, when we have a problem, we do not have to solve it by ourselves. We can ask for help.
However, we need to keep in mind that the person we ask for help has the same coin, with the same sides. Support or sabotage.
So, if they are not helping or supporting us, they are sabotaging us.
Here’s how we can understand if we’re supporting or sabotaging ourselves.
When we sabotage ourselves, we feel a lot of resistance in doing things.
And when we resist, the message that we send to our brain is a signal of stress.
Biologically, in these moments, the stress hormones like adrenalin and cortisone kick in. In these moments, we don’t know what to do. We get frustrated and anxious.
When we get anxious, we second guess ourselves all the time.
So we can’t decide and when we have to make a choice, we do it with great self-doubt.
Usually, afterwards, we regret the choice we made.
Also, procrastination is sabotage.
Because of procrastination, we postpone something until we really have to do it. Otherwise, we don’t do it at all, feel guilty and start asking ourselves “what if?” “What if?”.
Choosing, on the other hand, is natural.
We don’t feel any resistance, even if we are faced with many choices. In these situations, we do the research on the choices, we can ask for others’ opinions about our choices and then we pick at that time under those circumstances what is best for us. No Resistance. No Stress. No Anxiety.
So that’s the difference.
Flipping the coin from sabotage to support can be done easily, effortlessly and especially quickly.
So, here are my top 3 tips on how to overcome self-sabotage and flip the coin to support
- The first thing you need to do is to pay attention to what you are saying to yourself and the emotions attached to that voice. If there is resistance, you are sabotaging yourself. So, you need to change and flip the coin. That’s the first thing to pay attention to: how you are feeling and what you are saying to yourself.
- The second is, if you are a visual person, have an image of the coin in your head, pick a side for support and keep that side going. The minute you have a resistance, in your mind, flip the coin. If you are not a visual person, but you are kinaesthetic and feel things instead of seeing, then pay attention to the feelings. If there is resistance, flip it to being calm. If you need help to make a choice, by all means, get help. Pay attention if the help is supporting you and not sabotaging you.
- The last tip, if you need it, have an actual coin near you, either in your purse or on your desk. Pick the side of the support, keep it near you and keep looking at it as many times as you need it. Associate the coin with the feeling of confidence, satisfaction, pride: positive emotions to support you!
So, the choice is always yours. Pick the winning side.
Choose the winning side.
If this article resonates with you when you struggle to support yourself then let’s have a talk, send me a message.