Last week we discussed how do we communicate with each other,
- 55% is through our physiology like (finger to mouth for silence) or (hand beckoning a person to approach).
- 38% is voice tonality on HOW LOUD or how low I speak.
- And 7% words.
Today, we are focusing on the importance of words that we use with the others & ourselves.
Language is extremely important because it is highly structured. Indeed, in our world, that is moving very fast, we know very well that we often have to say a lot in a very short period of time.
Most of us use social media and try to get our message across, straight to the point.
Also, we want it to be clear, in order to avoid misunderstanding in the message we want to convey.
But it can be complicated sometimes to find the appropriate words for each and every situation – particularly for us non-native English speakers.
However, the importance of words is deeper: language doesn’t just regulate how we communicate, but also how we think.
We use words to think and we have our favourite one. However, we often forget to consider how powerful words can be.
Actually, we discover this from the very beginning.
Come on a journey with me back in time, a time that we do not remember when we were one or two years old.
Wobbling around in our universe, surrounded by the significant big people in our lives, parents, grandparents, perhaps siblings.
At the time, we were discovering our universe, encouraged by the big people in our lives to say something.
We noticed they could talk because there was some sort of sound coming out of their mouths.
And we replied, “ba baba baba dada dadada”. As far as we were concerned, that was talking.
And there was more encouragement and more “Bababa”.
Until one day, for no reason or at least a reason we did not understand, we looked up to a significant person in our lives and we said: “Mama”.
Ohhh! The reaction! Kisses, hugs, tears! “My baby said Mama!”. More kisses, more hugs, and depending on the decade you were born, sharing the event on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.
And of course, we liked it. As a result, we got kisses and hugs! So, everything became Mama. Everything was mama.
And then we carried on encouraged to say something, until one day we looked up to another big person in our lives and we said: “Dada”.
Wow! Even better results. More kisses, more hugs, more Instagram, Twitter, Facebook.
So, Mama and Dada were happy! The world was happy! More encouragement and we carried on. “mama, dada, bababa”.
Until one particular day, some significant person in our lives said something to us and we looked up and one tiny little word popped up in our minds and we said: “No”
Ahhh! Silence. And then, “did you just say No to me?”
That was the beginning of a very long relationship between “No” and ourselves.
Now, my question is how often do you say “no” to yourself when you are thinking?
- How often do you talk yourself out of opportunities?
- How often does your language stop you from doing what you want to do?
- How often the words that come to your mind are:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I don’t have time for that.”
“I can’t do that.”
If it’s very often, then it is a problem.
In this case, do you think we can change the way we think? Do you think it’s possible to change the language that you say to yourself?
The answer is YES, and in my next article, you can learn how to talk to yourself in a way that boosts your happiness and self-esteem.